Only in My Dreams
I first saw you in my doorway. The door already open to allow friends to stop in whenever they wanted, but, in my wildest dreams, I had not expected to see you standing there. Beautiful smile, lips closed, innocent, but tempting me at the same time. You were just leaning there. Gazing at me as I was running around the room organizing. But the sight of you stopped me in my tracks. My heart jumped. My demeanor calmed. Nervous yet completely at ease at the same time. Our eyes met and I couldn’t look away. I smiled back at you. Shy, but confident. In that moment, it seemed time stood still just for us.
Back to organizing later. The party is planned and he says you will be there. I’m nervous. I need to make a good impression. He tells me you said I already had. What!? What did she tell you? What did she say about me? I implore him like a little school boy finding out my crush returns my crush. He dodges and avoids, laughs and won’t give in. And while I try to wrestle it out of him, there you appear again. That smile. Those eyes. Again in my doorway. That look. It calms my soul yet stirs my passions. Your smile, just for me. My smile, just for you. Our eyes are locked, everything else fades away and it is just you that I see. Looking at me. A moment, with feelings I can’t comprehend.
You are now laying beside me. I can just see your face. Laying close to mine. Again, that smile. That calming yet passionate gaze from your eyes. A look just meant for me. I can’t believe I am here with you. Finally alone. So close. So peaceful. Everything else melts away. You start to say something, but stop. What were you going to say? Oh nothing you coo. No, come on now, you’re never one to be at a loss for words. What’s on your mind? And your lips half whisper, half gently say
I’m wondering how I tell someone I have only met 8 times that I love him.
Your eyes never look away. My heart and stomach flutter and a rush of emotion I have never felt before flows through me. I can’t speak. I am overcome. All I can do is smile. My smile for you. I take my hand and flow my fingers through your hair. Gently brush it back out of your face. Slowly caressing my fingers down your cheek. Your soft skin. Your beautiful smile. Those powerful yet calming eyes.
You then take my hand and slowly turn on your side away from me. You place it on your shoulder as you cuddle yourself into my chest and rest your head in front of mine on the pillow. Your fingers intertwine with mine, wrapping my arm around you and then bring our hands to rest on your chest, feeling the beating of your heart.
I wake up holding my pillow, with the powerful emotions still running through my body, my hands grasping for you, my body aching to feel you next to me.
Who are you. Are you real. I saw you so clearly. Your eyes. Your smile. I felt your passion. I sensed your emotions. And your smile told me you felt and sensed mine. We were together. Innocent. In the moment. Peaceful. Holding hands. Cuddling. Nothing else mattered. Just us. Holding me close to you. Holding you close to me.
Are you only in my dreams?
~~~ by Michael J. Yore — 07 JAN 2007 ~~~
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