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President Bush has Done More than Any Other President for Africa

Will Bush-Bashing End
by Ron Radosh in Pajamas Media

Exerpt:

Bush and his defenders have good reason to be angry at Wilentz’s premature verdict. As Fulford points out, the President created the $30 billion Emergency Plan for Aids Relief, and extended it this year with a $48 billion to end the number of people being treated in Africa to three million and to train 140,000 health care workers who specialize in HIV prevention and treatment. Thus Bush changed our nation’s involvement in Africa in a positive fashion. The rock star and activist Bob Geldorf openly acknowledged this, pointing out that Bush “has done more than any other president” for Africa. But yet, as Fulford writes, “it’s unlikely that one in a 100 of [Bush’s] fellow Americans know about it.”

Yep. But, of course, for most on the Left, they really don’t care about the issues about which they claim to care. For them, it is all about hating Republicans, hating Conservatives and hating the President for anything and everything. President Bush could have discovered the cure for cancer himself and they still would have hated him and then blamed him for not finding it earlier. Meanwhile, Obama just says the word ‘cancer’ and they already credit him with healing the sick of the world and stopping the oceans from rising.

The morons who worship Obama based on his political career of achieving jack squat *nothing*, are the same morons who ignorantly spew vitriol at President Bush, even though he has achieved much in the areas of their stated political issues.

To answer Mr. Radosh’s question, no I don’t see the Bush-bashing ending any time soon, because we are not dealing with rational people here.

November 30, 2008 , 11:35AM Posted by | Africa, AIDS, Barack Obama, Liberalism, President George W Bush | 7 Comments

The Televangelist messiah President

You know, it’s interesting…

Obama and all his supporters say we are living in soup line America. The economy sucks, they say. They have to decide between food and paying their bills, they say. They’ve lost their jobs, can barely eat, can’t pay their bills, they say.

And yet…

Obama takes in $700 Million in campaign donations from these same people. And now they are spending money they don’t have simply to travel across the country to see their One empty suit Affirmative Action messiah get sworn in.

Wouldn’t it be much, much cheaper to just watch it on TV? Wouldn’t it be much, much better for ‘saving the planet’ to not have millions upon millions of people driving and emmitting greenhouse gases along the way to Washington?

I guess these people are just like their One empty suit Affirmative Action messiah: they are all liars. The economy is *not* that bad and the planet apparently is not dying due to man.

Thinking about that $700 million these idiots gave to this tool, it’s almost like this is a cult and people are sending in money to a televangelist. He speaks a load of bullshit about saving them and the world, they send in their money. We can just call Obama the Televangelist messiah President.

Also, if all these morons who voted for Obama would have adopted the “Yes We Can!” mantra in their own individual lives to achieve success and prosperity, things would be a lot different in their lives and they wouldn’t have to be poor and dependent on an empty suit Affirmative Action messiah.

“Yes We Can!” depend on the government to fix their lives, but “No We Can’t!” pull up their bootstraps and do anything to improve their lives for themselves.

Brilliant.

Meanwhile, they continue spending money they apparently don’t have to spend on campaign donations and trips to DC. Must be fucking nice. I can’t take a vacation anywhere, even though I have a good job. Because I have, you know, responsibilities and bills to pay. I guess I should just be an irresponsible fuckhead like these assholes and just default on my mortgage and donate my money to false messiahs and then I can take vacations I can’t afford too!

*****

Inauguration or bust: Many content to just get on a bus

BY SUZETTE HACKNEY • FREE PRESS STAFF WRITER • November 23, 2008

The trip won’t be comfortable — cramped quarters, infrequent stops, limited food, neck pain and pit-stop hygiene. But for thousands of metro Detroiters and other Michiganders who will travel to Washington, D.C., by bus to attend Barack Obama’s historic presidential inauguration, the mantra is: “Yes, we can!”

The trips to the Jan. 20 ceremony are being organized by local churches, schools, organizations and individuals. Because of limited hotel space and limited budgets, these “there-and-back” or “turnaround” trips have become all the rage. Buses will roll out the evening of Jan. 19, arrive in Washington, D.C., the morning of the swearing in, and depart later that day.

“The sacrifice is definitely worth it — we want to feel history being made,” said Rhonda Graves, executive assistant to Bishop Edgar Vann of Second Ebenezer Church in Detroit. “We are determined to go.”

Record-setting crowds are expected to descend upon the district to watch Obama become the nation’s 44th president and the first African American [1/2 black American with no slave blood but he’s clean and articulate] to hold that office. Washington Mayor Adrian M. Fenty said this past week that officials are bracing for a turnout of possibly 3 to 5 million people. He said people are expected to camp overnight [camp? do they know how cold it is?], starting Jan. 19, to get as close as possible to the viewing area and parade route.

The largest crowd ever recorded on the National Mall was for President Lyndon B. Johnson’s 1965 inauguration. The park service estimated 1.2 million people attended. In 1981, President Ronald Reagan’s inauguration drew about 500,000 people, and President Bill Clinton’s 1993 inauguration attracted about 800,000 people, according to park service estimates.

Though members of Congress will be allotted 240,000 tickets to distribute to those who will actually get a seat at Obama’s swearing-in ceremony, millions of spectators are expected to line the Mall and the parade route to peer at large screens.

Michigan lawmakers’ offices and Web sites have been inundated with requests for tickets. On Friday, Rep. John Conyers’ office said it had received thousands of requests, “and it continues to grow every day.” On Sen. Carl Levin’s homepage, constituents are told that Levin received an unprecedented number of requests for tickets, and can no longer take new requests.

Ready to roll

With escalating airfare, charter bus services have been deluged with requests for vehicles to make the roughly 500-mile trek to Washington. And though the D.C. metro area has about 95,000 hotel rooms, they are booking quickly and are being priced at two to three times the normal rate. [95k – 4,000,000 = a lot of people sleeping on the street]

*****
“priced two to three times the normal rate”? What’s this? I thought in the new Barack Obama Fantasyland of unicorns and rainbows and healing the world’s sick and stopping the rise of the world’s oceans, everything was going to be fair? No more inequality. No more only catering to the rich. We’re going to spread the wealth around and make everything equal and give the same opportunities to everyone. So where’s the messiah? Is he going to put a windfal profits tax on the hotels, since it is unfair for them to make so much money on his inauguration?
*****

Trips from metro Detroit range from $85 for barebones transportation, to $500 for transportation, lodging and a hot meal or two. Travelers are being encouraged to pack snacks, water, warm clothes, comfortable walking shoes, neck pillows and survival kits that include baby wipes and toothpaste — for a quick freshening during stops along the turnpike.

*****
You know, the inauguration is on a weekday. It must be nice that not only do these people have $85-$500 laying around to spend on an event they could just as easily watch on TV for free, but they also have the luxury to take the day(s) off of work! Or wait, I thought all these idiots didn’t have jobs? So “Yes We Can!” work to get the money together to go see Affirmative Action messiah, but “No We Can’t!” get off our asses and get a fucking job. Brilliant.
*****

Second Ebenezer chartered two 56-passenger buses that were sold out within three days. Members will leave from the northeast Detroit church on Jan. 19, along with 19 other buses chartered by various organizations. The congregation will stay in a West Virginia hotel about 80 miles outside of D.C. before journeying to the inauguration in the early hours of Jan. 20.

Randy Cupp, vice president and owner of Clio-based Blue Lakes Charters & Tours, said 40 of his coaches — at $5,000 a pop — have been booked for the inauguration, and another 25 groups are on a waiting list. He said requests have come in as far north as Traverse City and Alpena. Cupp said 80% of the Michigan groups his company is transporting don’t have hotels.

*****
Amazing! Michigan’s economy is supposedly so, so bad and people are out of work and have to find ways to figure out if they will pay their bills or eat, yet here they can find the money to charter busses to go to Washington D.C.! Imagine if they had that much determination to actually, you know, get off their lazy asses and get a fucking job. Or, hmmm, maybe all you fuckers are actually lying and the economy is not that bad, eh?
*****

“If they’re willing to ride on the coach for 10 to 12 hours, there and back, and then stand in the cold for another 10 to 12 hours, it just shows how much people want to be a part of this moment,” he said. “The number of requests and quotes we’ve had has just been astounding. I’ve never seen anything like it, and I’ve been in the business for 30 years.”

*****
Yeah, or it could just say that they are a bunch of idiotic cult members who will do whatever it takes to be in the prescence of their cult leader, the Affirmative Action Televangelist messiah President.
*****

Cupp said Michigan carriers also are excited about the economic impact. The inauguration is a nice bump at a time when the state’s economy is stalled, and especially in January, when the industry is virtually grounded.

Recreational vehicle companies also are experiencing a boost in business. Within the last week, Westland-based Feister Auto & RV has received dozens of inquires and visits from people interested in renting a vehicle. Cruise America, which operates out of Feister, provides five- or seven-person rental RVs that will cost about $700 for the trip.

****
$700 to rent a vehicle. Wow, I wish I had $700 to spend on a trip to Washington D.C. and the time off from work. I thought this country was in soup lines and we were in the worst economy since the Great Depression – WORSE than the Great Depression. Yet, somehow these people have $700 to spend on trips to Washington? Damn, must be nice. What a Depression!
*****

Office manager Rita Bloomfield said three Detroit-area families have reserved RVs, and she expects the company’s eight remaining RVs to be claimed soon.

“They’re definitely coming in to look,” Bloomfield said. “I think some people feel more comfortable driving a long distance and being able to still get up and walk around.”

Ready to hustle

Southfield resident Keith Williams, 68, a retired Ford employee, said he and his family decided to charter a bus though their budgets are tight. The bus holds 55 people, but only 10 have made reservations so far. Williams said he felt fortunate to find an available bus — he called a half-dozen companies before landing one — and is hopeful people will respond to the flyers he’s distributing around the region.

“With the economy like it is in Detroit, I think people are waiting until the last minute to make up their minds,” said Williams, who is charging $125 per person. “We would like to make some of our money back, but it’s more important to have the opportunity to be there for the historic occasion of a black man being elected president.”

*****
I see, so instead of being a responsible adult and paying attention to one’s budget and finances, it is more important to unnecessarily spend money they don’t have to spend to take an unnecessary trip just to say they were in Washington D.C. to see the Affirmative Action messiah. Brilliant. And these dipshits wonder why their budgets are bad, when they make genius financial decisions like that.
*****

Detroiter Crystal Smith, 48, who created the Obama Hustle, is taking her show on the road. During the campaign she pledged that if Obama were elected she would dance in the streets of Washington, D.C. She has chartered a 55-passenger bus, and is taking her 15-year-old daughter and 6-year-old granddaughter along for the experience.

Smith said Obama hustlers from around the country have called her to try to meet in Washington, or at least synchronize what time they’ll do the dance to Stevie Wonder’s “Signed, Sealed, Delivered (I’m Yours).” “We’re taking our boom box, and even if we can’t get on the Mall, we’re going to find a street to do the Obama Hustle.”

*****
The “Obama Hustle”. How fucking ironic. Considering Obama hustled millions upon millions of idiotic Americans out of $700 million of their money they apparently could not afford to spend and fed them lies during the entire campaign just to get their vote. “Obama Hustle”. Very appropriate.
*****

Before leaving Detroit, Smith’s bus, which is sold out, will take a symbolic route out of the city, past Woodlawn Cemetery, where civil rights icon Rosa Parks is buried, and along Martin Luther King Jr. Boulevard. The King holiday is Jan. 19, the day of the departure.

*****
Oh the irony. Martin Luther King, Jr. The man who said he dreamed of a day when Americans would judge a man on the content of his character, rather than the color of his skin. And here we are, decades later, still judging Blacks on the color of their skin, instead of the content of their character. And elected a half-Black man President based on skin color, rather than content of character. Yeah, these people truly are dense.
*****

“We wanted to pay homage to those who paved the way for Barack Obama,” said Smith, who does part-time custodial work at JDC Enterprises and is an intern for patient registration at Providence Hospital in Southfield. “When I was young, I remember hearing stories of the hard times my people went through, and now we are traveling to Washington to see how far we’ve come.”

*****
How far we’ve come? A half-Black man bought the Presidency, based on the color of his skin, rather than the content of his character. We’ve gone backwards, Smithy.
*****

Contact SUZETTE HACKNEY at 313-222-6614 or shackney@freepress.com.

November 23, 2008 , 11:45AM Posted by | 2008 Presidential Election, Barack Obama, Liberalism | Comments Off on The Televangelist messiah President

The GOP is Not the Core Problem with this Country

I left this comment in response to this essay from Wordsmith at Flopping Aces: My Party, Right or Wrong. It’s a great comprehensive analysis of what the GOP, GOP-voters and conservatives need to think about after the losses in the 2006 and 2008 elections.

However, I am still baffled, as I state below, as to why there is so much hand-wringing on the Right and a seemingly willful desire to ignore the 500-lb gorilla in the room: the fact that a majority of this nation is now attracted to and rewarding the vitriolic hate, smearing, demonizing and criminal activity of the mass media, Democrats and the rest of the Angry Left.

Sure, there are many issues that the GOP must resolve. However, as I state below, we have some flawed politicians which make up the GOP, while we have a bunch of hateful, racist, vitriolic criminals and liars which make up the Democratic Party and its main base of support (not to mention which make up the entire mass media, which is now the propaganda arm of the Left and the Democratic Party).

By all means, discuss what needs to be done to improve the flawed GOP, however, not at the expense of the core problem in this nation: an ignorant, apathetic American public, the majority of which seems to be attracted to racism, communism, socialism, vitriolic hatred against the Right and the GOP and criminal activity and lying in order to gain power at any cost.

Because, no matter what the GOP does to fix itself, if we don’t do something about this core problem among the population of this nation, we are doomed.

*****

Interesting analysis.

However I don’t know how it squares with the success of the Angry Left over the past 4 years. The advice to Republicans and Republican voters seems to be ‘be more welcoming’ and ‘be more nice’, when, in fact, over the course of the past 4-8 years, the Left has become more intolerant, more angry, more vitriolic and more hateful… to amazing success.

So the argument that people like Ann Coulter hurt the Party and movement, I find to be bullshiite. It has worked wonders for the Left to be intolerant and hateful and demonizing to anyone who does not agree with them. Ann Coulter does not even come close to what is the Angry Left and yet the GOP and conservatives are smeared based on her commentary and the Democrats and liberals are considered good based on their Angry Left? Utter crap.

Chris Matthews, Keith Olbermann, Daily Kos, Democrat Underground, Huffington Post, Hollywood and entertainment industry celebrities, John Murtha, Rev Wright, Bill Ayers, Barack Obama himself with his “typical white person”, “clinging to guns and the Bible”, “they’re going to accuse me of not being like other Presidents”, etc etc etc… all this hate and demonizing and lying and smears and vitriol and racism and … they won huge in 2006 and 2008 and never have been called to the carpet on their despicable actions.

Instead of all this hand-wringing about the GOP all over the place in the right-of-center blogosphere, it would be nice to see an analysis of how we are supposed to win any elections in the near future when the majority of this nation allows the Democrat Party and the Left and the mass media to get away with racism, corruption, illegality, lies and smears.

Barack Obama himself is guilty of massive corruption, lying during his campaign, despicably accusing anyone who criticized him of racism when none existed, Black Supremacism, ties to communists, socialists, Marxists and terrorists, voter registration fraud, campaign donation fraud, ties to ACORN which had its hand in the mortgage crisis… yet, he got off scott-free with all of that.

Basically, we are sitting here talking about our football team losing 21-14 in the Super Bowl, when the other team cheated the entire game, used every dirty trick in the book on every play, and were aided and abetted by the referees who were bought and paid for to help them win the game. And instead of looking at the huge problem of that staring us in the face, we are sitting here blaming our players for not being good enough to rise above all that and still win the game.

I’m simply baffled.

Yes, there are problems in the GOP, but there are much, much *bigger* problems with this nation, with the Democrat Party, with the mass media and with wishy-washy GOP-voters and conservatives who just want to sweep everything that took place in the last election under the rug, pretend it never happened and it won’t affect our future and just put all the blame on ourselves.

I’d like to know how we are supposed to overcome the fact that any valid criticism of Obama is deemed racism. The fact that any valid criticism of Obama is deemed a ‘distraction’ and a ‘hateful attack’ and ‘irrelevant’. The fact that the mass media is completely controlled by the Left and the Democrats, not to mention the entertainment industry, the public school system and the universities.

I am not denying that the GOP has work to do in order to get back to its core principles. However, from where I sit, we have a party of flawed politicians and a party of hateful, vitriolic criminals and liars who will do whatever it takes to gain power and keep power.

The way I see it, the GOP could turn into the perfect statesmen with the perfect ideas for the future of this country and it wouldn’t matter a lick, because we have a majority nation which finds nothing wrong with what I mentioned earlier:

*****
“Chris Matthews, Keith Olbermann, Daily Kos, Democrat Underground, Huffington Post, Hollywood and entertainment industry celebrities, John Murtha, Rev Wright, Bill Ayers, Barack Obama himself with his “typical white person”, “clinging to guns and the Bible”, “they’re going to accuse me of not being like other Presidents”, etc etc etc… all this hate and demonizing and lying and smears and vitriol and racism…”
*****

60+ million people in this nation obviously are attracted to this kind of vitriolic hatred. *That* is a major problem.

If we want to know how to win elections again, we are going to have to figure out why the majority of this nation is attracted to such filth.

November 16, 2008 , 5:00PM Posted by | 2008 Presidential Election, Barack Obama, Conservatism, Liberalism, Media Bias | 1 Comment

10 Years Lost on You

I’ve had this written over and over in my mind. Many times in an angry tone, many times in a depressive tone, many times yelling at you, many times yelling at myself. I’ve written it in my mind while laying in bed trying to fall asleep. I’ve written it in my mind while driving on my way to work. I’ve written it after reading your e-mails the last 2 weeks and hearing your voicemail message. I’ve written it after reading a friend’s advice on how I am living my life and dealing with relationships. I’ve written it every time I think about sitting down and e-mailing you or calling you back. I guess it’s time I have finally actually put this down on paper – or, uh, computer screen – instead of continuing to torture myself in my own mind and heart and soul.

I’m 99.9 percent certain I will never tell you this. I’ll never send this to you, never e-mail it to you and never call you to tell you this on the phone. If you happen to come across this in your various surfing of the web and of my websites, so be it. But there is really no nice way to say any of this, so I have decided it is best to not say it to you at all. But, considering I am driving myself mad with this all roaming around in my mind on a daily basis, I figured getting it out might help ease my mind, heart and soul, as writing poems has done that for me in the past. Considering this topic is none too good for a poem, stream of consciousness rambling here on my blog will have to do…

*****

I honestly do not even know where to start. I guess this is as good a place as any, since it is what got me to wake up from my 10 year delusional haze and see reality:

“You sell yourself WAY too short. And you need to start working on your self worth. I can tell you a hundred times a day how good looking and smart you are, but I can’t make you believe it. There’s that horse again. You realized years ago she was just using you, especially your sweetness and kindness??? WHAT kind of person would do that to another human being? More importantly, what kind of person would allow it?

That last question hit hard. I had asked myself that question time and time again during the last 10 years, but yet it never sunk in. I’m not sure why it finally sunk in this time. Maybe it helped seeing it from someone else, who really had no emotional interest in the situation. Maybe I just finally had gotten to my limit in dealing with all of this inside. Whatever it was, it hit me hard in the gut. And I finally realized that the past 10 years were as much my own fault as I felt they were yours. In fact, they were probably 90 percent my fault, since, no matter how badly someone treats another person, if that person continues to put themselves in the same situation over and over again, the blame lies with them. I continued to allow myself to be taken advantage of, to be treated like an old blanket which was desired and cherished when life was cold, only to be thrown aside when life was good again. The problem is that I am not an old warm blanket, but a person with feelings and a heart and emotions and needs and desires of my own. I needed a warm blanket of my own. And while I may have imagined that you provided that for me, in reality, you never did anything of the sort. And yet, I continued to allow myself to be used. I continued to see the best in you, even though you treated me like dirt. As my friend asks, what kind of person would do that to another? How could I continue to see you as this great person, when here you were treating me like I was nothing? And what kind of person have I been the past 10 years to continue to allow this to happen? How delusional was I to create this alternate reality of whom you were as a person, while I was experiencing first-hand you being the opposite of such a person? For 10 fucking years!?

*****

You said that you were no different than any other friend who was out of State that I don’t see. But that’s not true at all and has never been true. First of all, looking back, we were never actually friends. At least not how I define friends. Friendly acquaintances or pen pals, maybe. But friends… no. The way I see friends is that they are people on whom I can depend when I need someone. Dave and Derek. They are my true friends. In my darkest times, they were there for me. When I was pathetic over a girl treating me the same way as you have for 10 years, they were there for me. They came to make sure I was not alone. They listened to me whine, listened to me complain, listened to me cry. And they never judged me for it. They helped me get through it. And they worked hard to stay in my life even when I got distant and pushed them away, because I felt I needed to be alone and not have anyone in my life, because I wasn’t deserving. They were and are true friends, more true than I have ever had in my life. I don’t know where I would be without them. They were the first *real* friends in my life. They were the first time I had anything real in my life. Real friendship. Real comraderie. Real companionship.

But us… no, we’ve never been real. Nothing about us has been real. Not our ‘love’, not our ‘friendship’, nothing. Over the past 10 years, I can think of no time when you have been there for me when I needed someone. When I needed you. When I needed you those many years ago when you were in college, you told me that you couldn’t talk to me for the rest of the month, because you had to concentrate on schooling. Yeah, thanks a lot. When we got back in touch for the 3rd or 4th time after a long layoff and I said that I could handle us talking again and tried my fucking damndest not to allow myself to “fall” for you again, yet I did anyway, you again left me after we started getting too close and I started getting too serious. I said I was trying not to think of us talking again as “us”, but … and then you said, you felt that way too. You felt we were an “us” again. And then I fell hard again for you. But, just like the last time, you took my heart and ran away, leaving me in shambles. Some friend.

And then I look back at the last 10 years and think about when have I been there for you when you needed me. Well, I was there when you talked about your rape and loss of your baby. I wanted to be there with you that first Christmas when you said you needed someone, but you rejected me, told me not to come. I wanted to be there for you when you said your rapist was back in your life and you were thinking about going to the cops. But you rejected me and actually were more kind to the rapist guy who came to your door with a gift rather than with me on the phone with you. You have no idea how much that hurt me. No idea. Looking back, that should have been when I dumped you from my life forever. But of course…

Nicole finds me on yahoo messenger out of the blue and tells me you are in the hospital down in Florida and have attempted suicide. She said she thought that you would really like to hear from me. That you keep a picture of me in your room for comfort. She almost begged me to call you and see if you would talk to me to try to cheer you up. I put aside all my past anger and frustration with you and immediately called you. I wanted to be there for you, but I knew I couldn’t, but was hoping that the phone call(s) would be good. All the while, I was still angry, still frustrated, still remembered all you had done to me in the past, all I had allowed you to do to me in the past, and yet, I still wanted to be there for you. I still let myself get sucked back in.

And then hearing your sweet voice on the other end of the phone and hearing you happy to hear from me was like music to my ears and heart. And I fell for your song all over again… Only to once again be thrown aside. You wrapped me around you to keep warm in your time of strife, but then it was back to floor of the closet when you didn’t need me anymore. And my heart broke once again. And my heart hardened once again.

Months or maybe over a year later, you contact me again. Out of the blue, sweet talk me by saying you hear songs which remind you of me and you remember my voice on the phone. As much as my heart was hardened and broken in the past, somehow, some way I allow you to build it up again and soften it up once again. We reminisce, we laugh, we’re close like old times. Only to end the same. As soon as I let my guard down and allow myself to feel anything for you again, you are gone from my life, as quickly as you had returned. Once again, again, leaving my life and heart in shambles. Some friend.

Yet, still, I don’t learn my lesson. I’m apparently not hurt or destroyed enough inside to realize I need to cut you from my life forever. We have nothing, yet still I’m hanging on to this delusional idea of whom you are as a person. You prove over and over to me that I mean as much to you as a piece of dirt, yet some delusional part of my mind creates some idealistic idea of you as this wonderful, loving, caring, passionate, compassionate person who could be my “One”.

And I go back to my friend’s question… what kind of fucked up person am I to do this to myself… for 10 fucking years!?

*****

For the past 10 years, I have somehow imagined you as my “One”. I told you I’d wait for you, however long it took, and that I would marry you when you came back from Africa or when you came back from your second trip to Germany. I said it half in jest, half serious at the time, but I think I convinced myself inside that I was sincere and held onto that thought for 10 years. I compared every girl I dated to the image I had of you. Whenever I got serious with someone, I always took a step back and compared them to you… or the you I had created in my mind and heart. No one ever matched up to that person. And a part of me was always waiting for the time we got back in touch when you would tell me you wanted to be with me. Only that time never came…

*****

Every time we got back in touch, after a year, after months, after just meaningless e-mails about sports or “how are you? I’m fine. okay I gotta go, hope you’re good!”… every time I would see your name in my inbox and my heart would skip a beat. Every time my heartbeat would increase and all the memories would come back. The year we first started talking, listening to you sigh and whisper on the phone as you fell asleep with me, remembering the sweet cards you sent me with lyrics from Creed. It all came back to me in a flash, like I imagine life flashes before someone’s eyes when they die. My heart would fill up with these memories and images while at the same time my mind would remind me of all the hurt and tell me to be careful and don’t put myself through all that again. But I never listened to my head and let my heart lead me to more heartache and more pain…

You would tell me about all your different friends all over in college and all over Wisconsin and Minnesota. You would travel all over for work and to see friends in college. You would travel all over for family in Florida and the East coast for vacations and to see friends. You travelled to skydive and other fun things. Yet, whenever I had asked to come visit you, you always rejected me. When I asked you why you traveled all over the country visiting friends and family, yet never came to see me, the only thing you said was “well, what is there to even do in Detroit”? Never did I ever ask what there was even to do in Appleton, Wisconsin, because I didn’t care. I wanted to see you. I wanted to be with you. I would not have cared if we did nothing but sit and stare at the wall for an entire weeked, at least I would have been sitting next to you, holding your hand and staring at the wall… with you. Yet, this was not your focus. You proved to me with that statement that you didn’t care to be with me, to meet me, to spend time with me in order to be around me… no, being with me was not enough, you had to have another reason to come to Detroit other than to see someone whom you made me believe was one of your most important friends in your life. Apparently, I wasn’t that important afterall. And I finally realize that I have *never* been that important.

*****

Amazing how you actually thought that by telling me you sometimes had thought about what our lives would have been like had we gotten together years ago as we had talked about, that it would make me feel good. Well, just so you know, it did not. It made me feel like shit. Because I knew that had we gotten together, we would have been married and had children together by now. While that’s a happy thought to think about in theory, it’s a depressing thought to know that I don’t have that with you right now, because you refused to even meet me. It’s also angering because you don’t bring that up to suggest that maybe we still have a shot at making that happen, you just bring it up to bring it up and then completely dismiss the subject. What the fuck was that all about? Then, after we have that deep conversation, you don’t talk to me again for months, because hey, you’re a busy person with work and everything else. No time for Mikey. Wonderful. Just make my heart swoon thinking about what could of been and then just drive a knife through that dream, twist and turn and wrench it to destroy my heart again. Once again leaving my life in shambles, while you go on your happy merry way thinking that revealing that little tid bit was supposed to make me feel good. Thanks a lot.

*****

And I still didn’t understand until now why you talked about our chances being in the past, as if we were on our death beds and had no chance of ever being together, because it was too late. Too late? I’m almost 33 and you’re… who knows how old. 26? 29? Who knows. When we first talked, I thought you were 19, which would make you 29 now, but you say you’re 28. However I found you on Classmates.com and you say you graduated High School in 2000, which would have made you 18 in 2000 and 16 in 1998 when we ‘met’. So who the fuck knows how old you are. Regardless, how on earth is 26 or 28 or 29 or 32 too late? Unless of course, which I finally figured out, you have known all along that you never wanted to get together with me and have just been stringing me along all this time. Keeping me stuck on you, keeping me ‘in love’ with you, so that you can call on me whenever you need an old friend to stroke your ego, an old blanket to keep you warm through cold times in life, and then conveniently discard when your life is back to normal again. Yeah, I knew this all along, but my stupid image I had created of you clashed with this reality and my heart told me that no way could you possibly be this cold and heartless and mean. Well, thankfully, reality has finally sunk in and I realize you are this cold and heartless and mean, and have been all along. I just refused to see it.

*****

To be continued…

*****

I look back and still can’t believe I allowed myself to ignore all the signs. You refused to send me a picture of you. I had never known what you looked like until I just happened upon a small picture on your Facebook profile that I just came across a couple weeks ago. 10 years and you’ve never wanted me to know what you look like. At the same time being quite happy asking me for pictures of me. (Speaking of which, you have yet to take the 2 seconds to accept me as your friend on there, even though you did take the time to go on to your profile and change the profile picture. Another sign of you giving me a nice big *fuck you* that I probably would have ignored for the past 10 years, but no longer. That message was received loud and clear. You have plenty of time to approve the 100+ of your other friends on there, but no time to approve me. I’m nothing. I’m dirt. Gotcha.)

You also refused to give me your address. Yet you asked for mine. Which I was more than happy to give. I gave you my Purdue address and then the address to my apartment in Michigan, so you could send me cards. Yet you never included a return address. I could never send you anything. When you did finally give me an address, it was for Nicole’s place in college, not yours. No picture, no address, no coming to see you, no coming to see me. Yet, I was stupid enough to believe you when you said I was one of your good and close friends. What a fucking dipshit I was… for 10 fucking years!

*****

You told me your mom called you a bitch. Or that you were acting like a bitch. One of the two. Can’t remember now. Doesn’t really matter. But I have to agree with her. In fact, aside from the few times where you took advantage of my kindess and sweetness and got me to “fall” for you, you have been nothing but a cold-hearted, self-centered, mean, heartless bitch with me. Everything has always been about you. We’re always talking on your time, on your schedule. You always have to tell me how busy you are, so that I am to feel honored that you are taking time out of your life to speak to a worthless piece of dirt like me. I gotta wonder now if you treated your fiance like this, then it is no wonder he cheated on you. Sure, he’s scum and a coward for not breaking it off before going out with someone else, but I don’t blame him for wanting to be with someone else if you were this much of a cold-hearted, emotionless bitch when around him. Basically treating him like he was unnecessary to your busy-busy-busy life and was just an accessory, like a purse or a cell phone. Of course, you said yourself you didn’t really want to be with him, but were just with him apparently, because you didn’t think you could get anyone else. However, who even knows what you actually want. You are too busy keeping yourself busy to even stop and take a break and enjoy life and love. (Oh wait, that’s right, you do stop and enjoy life with your friends and party and drink and travel and everything, you just don’t bother to stop and take time for me. Gotta remember, I am a special case.)

Granted, maybe you don’t even want that. When I asked you why you were with him, instead of giving me substantial answers like he was a good man, and he would be a good husband and father and he made you laugh and he treated you well and made you feel special and made you want to be a better person and he was your friend… you gave me superficial crap like he was fun and he would do fun things with you and he was good looking. Oh, well then! There’s the makings of a long-term relationship! Same old bullshit from women I hear, now coming from you. Say they want one thing and then whom do they settle for? The complete fucking opposite. Only to turn around and blame all men for their own mistakes, while complaining to us decent men that there are none of us out there. Uh, fucking Hello!? Remember who the fuck you’re talking to here.

I guess I expected more from you based on what I had built you up to be. But again, I was wrong. I should not have expected anything more, considering what type of person you are, were and always had been. It was my own fault for creating a false image and then being let down when the reality didn’t meet the image. Still fucking irritating to find yet another fucking woman fall into the typical stereotype of a woman saying she wants one thing and then settling for much less. Actions speak louder than words. Something I should have been taking to heart with you years ago and paying attention to your actions and not your words. Ironically enough, I did the same thing with you as you did with your fiance. I sat here and settled for a non-existent friendship… for 10 fucking years… instead of being a man and having some common fucking sense to get myself out of a bad situation. Which again goes back to my friend’s question… what the fuck kind of fucked up person would put himself through this and deal with this crap… for 10 fucking years? In the end, this situation says more about me than it does about you, because you’re not the one who pretended to be someone you were not. You were a cold-hearted, mean, self-centered, heartless bitch this entire time. It was my own fault for pretending you were not… *****

November 16, 2008 , 12:44AM Posted by | Life, Love, Relationships, Romance | Comments Off on 10 Years Lost on You

Election 2008: Rewarding Vitriol, Lies, Smears and Hatred

A couple of comments I left at Flopping Aces: Moving On

*****

“I can see that many of you are very upset over the election, and I understand that, but please understand that name-calling and bad-mouthing will get you nowhere.”

I continue to see people say this, yet I have watched the Democrat Party and the Left participate in nothing but name-calling, bad-mouthing and vitriolic hate for the past 5 years, and it seems to have gotten them majorities in the House, Senate and the White House.

So the problem is not “name calling and bad mouthing”, it is hypocrisy. The Left, the mass media and the Democrats can participate in this stuff to their hearts’ desire, with absolutely no repurcussions. In fact, they are greatly rewarded for being hateful, vitriolic a**holes.

Meanwhile, a Republican says “macaca”, had a “wide stance” in a bathroom, or exchanges e-mails with a male Congressional page and the entire GOP is smeared and tainted.

In addition, the Left, the mass media and the Democrat Party can spend the last 5 years smearing the entire military on anything and everything, while the President and the Right do their best to successfully win a war in the heart of the Middle East, and what happens… the President and the Right are smeared and get no credit, while the Left and the Democrats and the mass media are rewarded handsomely for their despicable actions.

So, please, stop with the “name calling and bad mouthing will get you nowhere” crap. Because the Left, the Democrats and the mass media have been doing it for years to great reward and success.

Am I going to now participate in this kind of hateful nonsense? No, because I actually have some integrity and class. But let’s stop with the nonsense that name-calling and bad-mouthing does not work. It worked marvelously for the Left, Democrats and mass media for the past 5 years.

*****

“I can only conclude then that if the Obama supporters were not idiots and actually did do their research then they knowingly and willfully voted for a man who is a socialist, for a man who, willingly and with forethought, by design and purpose, consorted with socialists, communists and domestic terrorists. And on the odd occasion he also had dealings with a man convicted of bribing politicians.”

Exactly.

I had a conversation with a pen pal who said she was voting for Obama and I flat out told her that anyone supporting Obama was either (1) a socialist/racist/Marxist/communist like Obama or (2) simply lacked character, because they dismissed his relationships with socialists, racists, Marxists, communists and terrorists in his decades long political career or (3) they were naive and ignorant to not know about his background.

I told her I could deal with someone being (3) considering I had talked with some Obama supporters in my office and shared with them the info on Obama’s background that was not being covered in the news (Rev Wright, Weather Underground, Chicago Annenberg Challenge, Bill Ayers, his support of infanticide and rolling back every regulation of abortion and making it publicly funded), but to think that a majority of people fall into categories (1) and (2) was simply depressing. She responded by saying “we just differ in our values” and “I’m not naive and ignorant”. She then told me after the election that she was now proud of our country, and that she hasn’t been able to say that very much in her life.

I was hoping that she fell into category (1), but her responses proved that she fell into (1) and (2). That was very discouraging, to say the least.

But I agree with you that it is much more comforting to think that 60+ million people voted for Obama out of sheer ignorance than to think that 60+ million people agree with socialism, Marxism, communism, racism of the likes of Rev Wright and Bill Ayers and have no problem with the anti-America, Black Supremacist ideologies of Wright and Ayers and knowing their President spent his entire two+ decade political career with these ideologies as his core.

If Obama supporters are now going to tell us that they were not ignorant, but very well informed and voted for Obama anyway, that is even worse than being ignorant.

November 15, 2008 , 3:46PM Posted by | 2008 Presidential Election, Barack Obama, Liberalism, Media Bias | 1 Comment