AmeriCAN-DO Attitude

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Foamy, Makeup, Deception and Confidence

Last night, I decided to contribute a little to the infamous Ace of Spades HQ Overnight Open Thread. Bad idea. I went from trying to share a little Foamy humor to explaining why I am such a loser. That’s what I get for staying up until 4am discussing my (lack of a) love life. Oy.

Women, I implore you, stop deceiving men!

And I know some of you out there are like, ‘huh, I don’t deceive anyone, I’m nice and sweet and everyone likes me!’

LIES! Lies!

I dunno if you women even realize this. But every day you’re going through a lot of trouble to deceive men.

It’s like, you wake up in the morning, put on a pound of makeup, strap on that push-up bra to make your boobs seem all perky, you extend your lashes, add hair extensions, rosy up those cheeks, wear contacts to change your eye color, dye your hair, shave your legs armpits (some of you your face), and so on!

Folks, if you have to do this much upkeep to hide your true appearance, you’re not that attractive in the first place. Accept it.

Now, here’s where the deceitful part comes in…

Now that you’ve gussied yourself up to look like a New York Geisha hooker, where do you go from there? I mean, fine, your looks initially attract some guy, you get into a relationship and eventually get married, all the while, keeping up appearances.

Then, one day, the guy wakes up in the morning, rolls over, looks at you without your makeup on, and says ‘who the hell are you?! I don’t know you! I don’t know you at all. Ugly!’

So, now this guy sees you in all your ‘natural glory’, no makeup to cover up that wort on your cheek, no push-up bra to liven those saggy boobs that are really a B-cup and not a DD that push-up bra led him to believe. Now, to him, your boobs are merely sagging fleshbags that are utterly repulsive.

And then the guy gets on your case about “letting yourself go”. When in actuality, you’re just looking the way nature intended.

Which makes you feel even worse about yourself, so you go out and buy that age-defying teen hooker makeup and apply and re-apply until you finally look like some Cosmo rendition of a female Joker.

Ladies, I know the whole makeup thing is there to make you look all attractive, but seriously, the facade has to come down one day, and guys and other women will see you as you really are. Wouldn’t it be better to just be yourself all the time, rather than hide your flaws under powder and lipstick?

I think so. No one likes to be disappointed. Just be yourself all the time and people will know what to expect. And therefore, you will never disappoint.

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Hmmm, I wonder if this “advice” would go over well with most of the moronettes… A Woman’s Deceit

Hmmm, apparently most of them just went to sleep. I guess it doesn’t matter if I post it now then. meh

Posted by: Michael in MI at September 29, 2009 12:55 AM

Michael in MI, you agree with Foamy? You think that women wearing bras, applying mascara and shaving their legs and pits constitutes deceitfulness? How about deodorant? Is that deceitful too? Combing hair?

In another slightly related vein, who here knows what an apocrine gland is? No googling (or binging) allowed!

Posted by: Smurfette at September 29, 2009 01:34 AM

Deceitful:
Hair dye (wow, you have beautiful blonde hair, it’s… oh, it’s not my natural color, I dye it… oh, um, ok, then, nevermind…),
hair extensions (wow, you have such sexy long hair, I love long hair on women, I… oh that’s not my hair, those are just extensions, my hair isn’t that long… oh, um ok, then, nevermind),
push-up bras,
boob jobs,
colored contacts (wow, you have such beautiful blue eyes… oh thanks, but those are my contacts, my eye color is actually green and I don’t like it, so I got the colored contacts… oh, um ok, then, nevermind)

Basically, I don’t get the whole thing with women gussying themselves up with tons of makeup to look like hookers half the time. Most women I know, even those of average natural beauty, are… naturally beautiful. But, they’ve been taught since being a teenager that they need to put all this shit on their faces and in their hair to be “beautiful” and attract guys. So they start doing all this shit with their faces and hair when in their teen years, so that by the time they are 30-35, their faces look like shit without makeup and their hair is so damaged they have to buy special crap to keep their hair from being all over the place.

THAT is what I am against. Most women are naturally beautiful. But they start fcuknig all that up at a young age and then whine that they have to buy all this “beauty” shit to look beautiful and take so much time to look good, when that is not the case at all. I don’t know who taught women that they had to gussy themselves all up, starting at age 13, to attract men and look beautiful, but whomever it was is an idiot.

Women are naturally beautiful.

There’s a woman on my facebook page who is absolutely beautiful. But she doesn’t see it. At all. She is a triathlete and really takes care of her body, so she is in great shape and has a great body, in addition to being a natural beauty… great smile, great hair. Just all around beautiful. Yet, she admires and worships Grace Kelly and thinks she doesn’t measure up.

I just don’t get it at all. Women are so beautiful yet they just go and mess it all up, starting at a young age with hair dye and makeup and whatever other “beauty” crap (not to mention going tanning and ruining their naturally beautiful, soft skin), such that, by the time they are in their 30s, their hair is damaged, requiring special stuff and their facial skin is now damaged from all the makeup and washoff, reapply, washoff, etc that they now *require* “beauty” products to cover up the damage.

I just don’t get it.

Posted by: Michael in MI at September 29, 2009 01:50 AM

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ok i read it.

i think that if you have to wear all that much makeup to look attractive that in itself is probably a turn off, you’re just going to look like tammy faye. guys like that look i’m sure. as far as shaving, well european women don’t . it doesn’t gross me out, my hair is pretty fine and i don’t have to shave that often anyway (sorry if that’s tmi), but men shave too.I’m sure european guys don’t think much of it. bras, don’t wear them but i probably should. i think that in most relationships nowadays guys get a pretty good idea of what women are like without makeup, a lot of people live together before getting married. i do think that some women do tend to get complacent after they have been married a while and after having kids, they may not worry about their appearance as much as when they were single. i also think that some men tend to let themselves go when they reach middle age too.

i think hormonal levels change obviously for women who have reached menapause, that can affect your sex drive.sex may not be as important to a woman. i think if you try to take care of yourself you can remain fairly attractive to the opposite sex for a long time without a lot of makeup and stuff, but when you are with a partner for a while you also know how to please them, you just get to know what they enjoy, so there’s that. this is pretty incoherent but that’s my take on this.

Posted by: joan at September 29, 2009 01:50 AM

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There’s a woman on my facebook page who is absolutely beautiful. But she doesn’t see it. At all. She is a triathlete and really takes care of her body, so she is in great shape and has a great body, in addition to being a natural beauty… great smile, great hair. Just all around beautiful. Yet, she admires and worships Grace Kelly and thinks she doesn’t measure up.

I can relate to this too. I’ve known a lot of beautiful women who were not satisfied with the way we look and i can understand why, We are bombarded with images of beautiful women so much that i think it affects your self image somewhat. to be honest no matter how many times i’m told i was attractive i can’t believe it. i’ve been told i was ugly too and that sting never goes away really. i tend to only think of my many defects such as my big nose or my small breasts. at some point you just have to accept yourself for what you are and appreciate what you have.

Posted by: joan at September 29, 2009 02:02 AM

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Actually, make-up isn’t damaging to the skin and won’t age it, not sure where you get that idea. Lipstick, foundation, etc. have moisturizers in them. I guess if you don’t wash it off at night you could clog up your pores and get pimples but that’s another matter.

You know, looking like a hooker or no make-up at all aren’t the only choices. My mom was a ravishing Japanese beauty and when the time came she taught me how to apply make-up so that it looked natural and flattering.

None of my girlfriends or female acquaintances have hair extensions or fake boobs. Maybe I run with the wrong crowd. Push-up bras? That’s the fashion right now, so what? I had green colored contacts for a while, just cause I thought it was a neat look — Asian girl with green eyes, how cool! Just another fashion expression for me and I never pretended they were real.

You’re right about hair dye. I don’t care how much my beautician insists that hair color won’t do damage, I know those chemicals aren’t good for my hair, and I won’t use them.

Posted by: Smurfette at September 29, 2009 02:04 AM

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Michael in MI, you agree with Foamy? You think that women wearing bras, applying mascara and shaving their legs and pits constitutes deceitfulness? How about deodorant? Is that deceitful too? Combing hair?

Posted by: Smurfette at September 29, 2009 01:34 AM

Also, the Foamy sketch mentioned about 5 things or so, shaving only being one of them. For the record, I don’t disagree with women shaving their pits and legs. But I agree with the rest of the Foamy rant.

The main focus of the rant was the makeup and hair dye and boob ’embellishment’. I never understood the point to any of that. Dye, never. Makeup, just a little to ‘enhance’ the natural beauty is fine. But gobbing the shit on from the age of 13? WTF is that all about? God blesses women with natural beauty and then they go about fcuking it all up at 13, such that at 31 they no longer have the natural beauty and are forced into buying “beauty” shit to apply to themselves for the rest of their lives.

I look at this from two perspectives.

One, from just not getting all this beauty crap from women. Why they *need* all this makeup and eye liner and blush and coverup and touchup and this and that and that and this, etc etc etc. I just don’t get (1) why they waste the money and (2) why they waste the time, when most women are naturally beautiful.

And Two, it actually pains me to hear women talk down about themselves when it comes to their looks and think worse of themselves because they don’t have the body of X or the hair of Y or the face of Z or the eyes of A or the overall looks of B. As I said, one of the women on my Facebook is so beautiful and she just doesn’t see it. She so admires Grace Kelly and apparently sets that as the standard of beauty she must achieve. But she has so much beauty of her own, I don’t know why she puts herself down, simply because she doesn’t feel she is in the same league as Grace Kelly.

I dunno. Whatever. Not important and most have gone to sleep so… goodnight all.

Posted by: Michael in MI at September 29, 2009 02:05 AM

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If a woman doesn’t feel good about herself and is constantly comparing herself to other women she thinks are more beautiful, that’s a deeper issue than make-up or bras.

I agree with you about 13 year old girls wearing make-up. Makes me sad. But females in our society are being pressured at younger and younger ages to become sexual objects. Don’t even get me started on that subject!

Sorry that my opinion is less interesting to you than others who have already gone to bed. G’night to you too!

Posted by: Smurfette at September 29, 2009 02:11 AM

i’m interested and i think that’s a good point. women are really expected to look attractive and be glamorous. imagine how much money is made off of beauty products and makeup ? i think advertising is a lot of it.

Posted by: joan at September 29, 2009 02:20 AM

I agree with you on the pressure for teens to wear makeup coming from the pressure to be sexual objects. My younger brother gave away his virginity when he was 14, 8th grade graduation night. His girlfriend then dumped him soon after, saying she just wanted to have sex so she didn’t go to High School as a virgin. I couldn’t believe it. I hadn’t even had my first kiss until I was 19 and here he was having sex at 14 where girls wanted to get it out of the way for more sex in High School. Just don’t get that at all…

And your opinion is just as important to me… I’m sorry, when I refreshed before, it didn’t look like there were any new comments, so I thought people had gone to sleep already. Thanks for your feedback. Gives me an idea of whether or not I could ever share this opinion in public without being considered an a-hole pariah or something.

Posted by: Michael in MI at September 29, 2009 02:32 AM

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I can relate to this too. I’ve known a lot of beautiful women who were not satisfied with the way we look and i can understand why, We are bombarded with images of beautiful women so much that i think it affects your self image somewhat. to be honest no matter how many times i’m told i was attractive i can’t believe it. i’ve been told i was ugly too and that sting never goes away really. i tend to only think of my many defects such as my big nose or my small breasts. at some point you just have to accept yourself for what you are and appreciate what you have.

Posted by: joan at September 29, 2009 02:02 AM

I’m actually the exact same way. Back in college (199, I worked out — hard — for the first time in my life. And I got in great shape. I was down to a size 30 pants and was all toned muscle. I could have posed for Men’s Health magazine. When I went to my cousin’s wedding, one of the bridesmaids asked me if I was in the military, because I was so buff and my posture was so great. Even my brothers who used to always call me ‘fat boy’ were gawking at my physique. It felt great, but…

I still was not comfortable with myself. After I lost my six-pack and merely had toned abs without a visual six-pack, I felt I was ‘fat’. I went back to comparing myself to all the perfect ‘pretty people’ on the football teams and in the military and in the fraternities, all of whom seemed to just live at the gym and be able to eat and drink anything and still look ‘perfect’.

Me, I would notice every defect, every slight gain of fat somewhere. And I still remembered the looks in girls eyes before I got in shape, that look that said “why are YOU looking at ME”. Even though I was in the best shape of my life, inside I was still haunted by those looks. And when I compared myself and my physique to others, I would find all my flaws. My abs weren’t as toned as his, my arms weren’t as big and defined as his, my pecs were not as defined as his, etc etc.

Now, here, 10 years later, I would kill to have the physique I had back then. 40lbs heavier, going from a size 32 to a size 38 pants… if I was borderline-paranoid about my imperfections then, I am downright fullblown-paranoid about everything now.

I guess that’s why this whole “beauty” thing irks me. I know what it was like to get those looks when I was young and have my confidence in myself shot at an early age, where I still haven’t recovered now that I am in my 30s. I try to go out of my way now to tell women how beautiful they are, because I don’t want them to lose their confidence like I did or think they have to live up to some ridiculous standard.

Posted by: Michael in MI at September 29, 2009 02:25 AM

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I guess that’s why this whole “beauty” thing irks me. I know what it was like to get those looks when I was young and have my confidence in myself shot at an early age, where I still haven’t recovered now that I am in my 30s. I try to go out of my way now to tell women how beautiful they are, because I don’t want them to lose their confidence like I did or think they have to live up to some ridiculous standard.

well i appreciate your honesty. i think you may have an idea how some women feel. i try not to compare myself to other women and i don’t like being compared either, but it’s difficult. i really do think the media has a lot to do with it but it may be something internal too.i may well just be crazy. the thing is you are aware of this.that’s half the battle. i think you should try to convey this to your friend she may appreciate it and you more if you can get this across to her.

Posted by: joan at September 29, 2009 02:32 AM

I compare myself to others all the time. And I listen to what women say and read what they say as well. I’ve come to conclude from this that I’m not what women want physically and I’m not going to think otherwise until I get myself back into the shape I was back in college. So I guess in that sense, I am like a woman… I compare myself and I define myself and my worth by what women consider the standards for ‘hotness’ in guys. And maybe that helps me understand women a little better, at least in that area. Maybe not though, since my bluntness most times drives women off. heh

And I have expressed my opinion on her beauty to my friend. Left a long comment on her wall one day a week or so ago basically saying that Grace Kelly has nothing on her. And that I know me telling her everything I was saying doesn’t mean much, coming from someone she’s never met and probably never will. But that I hope someday she sees in herself everything that I and others see in her as well.

If she’s anything like me, compliments like that go in one ear and out the other, but I do hope that eventually she meets the right guy who cherishes her for who she is inside and makes her realize how beautiful she is on the outside as well. We’ll see.

Posted by: Michael in MI at September 29, 2009 02:41 AM

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Haven’t women always been valued primarily for their appearance above all else?

They do look good. But it’s the whole package. Someone can look much more beautiful to me if I love them.

Posted by: Ubiquitous Dave (rdb) at September 29, 2009 02:41 AM

Agreed.

And the opposite is also true. A rabid liberal woman can go from beauty to ugly b!tch in a matter of moments, in my eyes, when I find out she is a rabid liberal.

Posted by: Michael in MI at September 29, 2009 02:46 AM

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Joan, I don’t know. This isn’t a modern phenomenon by any means. Haven’t women always been valued primarily for their appearance above all else? The Trojan War wasn’t fought over Helen because of her wit and intelligence.

well i’m not sure. i think that in earlier times, it took a lot of effort just to survive. i’m not saying that women have only recently been appreciated for their beauty, that’s not true.sexual attraction is part of our nature. i think there is more emphasis on it now and money is made from selling sexual images and sexual images are used to sell everything. i also think our standards of beauty or conceptions of beauty have changed in time, you can see that just within different decades. artists have always celebrated and portrayed female beauty but not just in an overtly sexual way.

Posted by: joan at September 29, 2009 02:45 AM

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Michael, thanks so much for your candid and revealing post. I guess it never occurred to me that guys also struggle with being self-critical of their appearance and trying to look perfect. You’ve taught me something new, I appreciate it.

But you guys still have it infinitely easier than us as far as being judged on appearance. Men can be wrinkly and have extra padding and still be considered sexy and desirable. Women? No.

Show me a woman who has deep furrows in her face like Tom Selleck or Hugh Jackman and is still considered hot.

Posted by: Smurfette at September 29, 2009 02:49 AM

Well, I’ll give you that.

However, when it comes to personalities, women have it easier than guys. A woman can be a b!tch, a quiet type, an active type, an inside book-reading type, a partier, a non-partier, a demure type, a tom-boy type, loud and obnoxious, self confident, insecure, etc etc.

Most men, to be considered attractive, have to be, well… manly. And there is a stereotype for men today as well. Drinking, partying, fix-it, strong, not emotional, not deep, just gimme a beer and sammich type. Now, I don’t fit into any of that. I don’t drink, I don’t party, I’m not too handy around the house (I can handle the basics, but beyond that, I’m calling for help), I am pretty deep and emotional (been that way since I was young) and I don’t drink beer and I’d rather be the one to pamper my woman and would never demand she do stuff for me (though I shower her with adulation when she actually does sweet things for me out of the kindness of her own heart, such as making me special desserts, surprising me with cards in the mail, etc).

Now, all that probably has most morons around here demand I give up my man card. Nevermind that I am a huge sports jock and love bacon. Not drinking and being an emotional type is probably enough to kick me out of the club of men. Now, if a woman is like that, it’s not a big deal. Plenty of men will rush to want to date her. But, when a man is like that, he doesn’t fit the man stereotype and is labeled “beta” or whatever it is now.

Thing is, I probably am “beta” when it comes to relationships, but completely alpha when it comes to sports and politics.

And that’s because I feel like King Kong when I am playing sports or talking politics, but feel the complete opposite when it comes to dealing with women. In sports and politics, you’re judged on content and production, but in relationships, you can’t get judged on content and production until you get past the image. Or, at least, that’s how I see it in my mind and how I react in these situations. On the field, I never think twice about how I look, I simply react and focus on my production. Same with politics. My physical attributes don’t mean anything when it comes to arguing facts. But, when around women, what I know in politics and how good I am at sports means nothing… now, it’s just judgement on my looks. On the field and in political discourse, my looks don’t matter. The other guy could look like (insert hot male celebrity here), but I still have better talent than him and prove it on the field and I still have better arguments than him and prove it in the debate.

So, looks wise, yeah, men may have it easier, but when it comes to personality types, men are pretty much forced to be a certain way or they are labeled to not be a “real man”.

Posted by: Michael in MI at September 29, 2009 03:14 AM

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But you guys still have it infinitely easier than us as far as being judged on appearance. Men can be wrinkly and have extra padding and still be considered sexy and desirable. Women? No.

that’s what i have said to some guys that worry about their looks. when guys are too worried or self consciuos about their looks , that is in itself a turn off. men don’t have to be perfectly good looking at all to be sexy, the sum of the parts can be greater than the whole. i think that while men prefer movie star looks in women , they often seem to fall for far less too, so they must be able to appreciate more than what is considered to be beauty, maybe we capable of finding beauty in others that is not so obvious at first.

Posted by: joan at September 29, 2009 02:56 AM

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Okay can’t we agree that all women except those who have perfect skin tone and features do look better with a little makeup?

Not sure why this is so controversial. But then I’ve only been skimming the comments because makeup talk is kinda boring to me. But that doesn’t excuse the moronettes from looking their best for the ONT.

Posted by: Mætenloch at September 29, 2009 02:59 AM

Yeah, we agree there. What I was trying to convey was the idea that women doll themselves up like clowns with the makeup to the point that you can tell they’re wearing it and it’s the *makeup* that stands out, instead of the makeup simply adding enhancement to their natural beauty.

I’m all for women using a little makeup to enhance their already natural beauty, but not going to the point where they put on makeup to make the makeup stand out. Also against teen girls gobbing on the makeup at such an early age to where by the time they are in their 30s and their skin is breaking down, to where they now *need* all this beauty crap in order to look even decent.

Posted by: Michael in MI at September 29, 2009 03:19 AM

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I compare myself to others all the time. And I listen to what women say and read what they say as well. I’ve come to conclude from this that I’m not what women want physically and I’m not going to think otherwise until I get myself back into the shape I was back in college.

i think to an extent that can be healthy. if you strive to take care of your body, you will be much more desirable to the opposite sex, that’s just reality. in a way it’s selfish but often times you have to think of yourself before you can think of others. if you have a partner they will also appreciate that you are in good shape and it can improve your relationship.. so if you stay in good shape that will definitely benefit your partner too. it’s considerate of you to stay in good shape and not get complacent. i admire you for wanting to take care of yourself and for your self awareness.

Posted by: joan at September 29, 2009 03:15 AM

Well, don’t go admiring me too much quite yet. While in general, what you describe *is* healthy, how I let it affect me is not really healthy.

As I said, I refuse to consider myself worthy of female companionship unless I get back into the shape I was when I was in college. And, if I don’t get back there, I won’t date ever again. That’s probably not a very healthy attitude to have. But, that’s how I see myself, comparing myself to the ideal. Unless I live up to it, I see myself as unworthy.

There’s a line in Semi Pro where Woody Harrelson’s ex is explaining to him why they broke up: “You know why we broke up? Because you hated yourself so much, it made it impossible to love you”. That’s pretty much where I am. I’m going to be ‘hating’ myself (considering myself unworthy) until I am back to perfect again. Of course, if I get back to perfect and still am enjoying this “funemployment” (going on 9 months now), then it doesn’t really matter anyway, since no girl wants to date a guy who’s unemployed (and I don’t blame them at all).

Posted by: Michael in MI at September 29, 2009 03:25 AM

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Michael, I saw your post come up when I posted.

I think you can be manly and still be emotional/sensitive. I shun metrosexual men, but I’m a sucker for a guy who will open up to me and can even cry (gasp!) I want a strong man who is protective of me. But I don’t want someone who is shut-down emotionally.

True story. My ex-bf was traveling out of town on his birthday and we hadn’t been dating that long. I knew he was disappointed that he had to work and be away for his birthday, so I sent him a package full of a bunch of little presents all individually wrapped, with hand-written, romantic notes on each one. He opened the gifts while I was on the phone with him and he was so touched by all the thought and effort I had put into them that he started to cry. I fell in love. Hard.

Do the girls you meet really only want the partying, drinking type guys? Maybe you need to widen your circle a bit.

Gnight again!

Posted by: Smurfette at September 29, 2009 03:30 AM

That’s awesome. I dated a couple girls like you who did the same touching things. Can’t say that I cried every time they did such things, but I always cherished what they did and made a point to let them know how much it meant to me that they did what they did.

Semi-similar story… in college, I was dating a girl who was going to Indiana Univ while I was going to Purdue Univ. At the time (1995), I didn’t have my own computer and for some reason did not have a long distance phone plan. So, what I did was set my alarm for 8am each day that I had a late class, so I could get up 2 hour before class and go to the Residence Hall computer lab and use the school e-mail chat service to talk to my girlfriend. When the chat service was down, we just exchanged short e-mails back and forth. Years later, when we got in touch again after college, she told me that me doing that with her started her on the path to falling for me. She just thought it was the sweetest thing. Funny how it’s the small things that affect people the most.

Well, to be honest, I haven’t gone out to meet or date at all since my last relationship ended back in Summer 2005. After that, I ended up befriending someone whom I only met/knew online, but, long story short, I discovered that she was lying to me about everything about herself, and I took it hard. I went from getting out of a long relationship (2 1/2 years) to naively putting my trust in someone online and getting burned, badly, and it made me lose trust in others, and in my own judgement of people. I’m a very untrusting person in general, so it takes a lot to get me to open up and trust anyone, such that, when I do, I am all in. So then when I got burned, it hurt that much more.

But really, I guess I take to heart what the moronettes seem to be like here, both the married/taken ones and the single ones. As well as some of the conservative Facebook female friends I have and some of the girls my (real life) friends have wanted to set me up with. All seem to be partiers and drinkers and want a certain type of man. I know I am currently not that type of man, but I know I want the type of girl they seem to be: strong, independent, intelligent, politically conservative, active, sports fans, yet have their sweet, caring core as well.

It’s basically a case of ‘it’s not you, it’s me’. I’m sure there are plenty of women out there I’d like, but I also am sure that I am not the man yet that they deserve. So, I’m working on that.

Posted by: Michael in MI at September 29, 2009 12:17 PM

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Okok, I know I’ve said goodnite twice already but I couldn’t let this pass:

And, if I don’t get back there, I won’t date ever again.

Whoa, hun, you are being wayyy too hard on yourself. I promise that you really don’t need to have a perfect hardbody to be worthy. I like a man who’s in shape, but it would bug me to death if my man was scared to death to gain a few pounds here or there. I’m not perfect and I wouldn’t want a man who thinks he has to be. Keep yourself in reasonable shape, know how to make a woman laugh, and BE CONFIDENT. That’s how to attract a woman.

Posted by: Smurfette at September 29, 2009 03:37 AM

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I’m not perfect and I wouldn’t want a man who thinks he has to be. Keep yourself in reasonable shape, know how to make a woman laugh, and BE CONFIDENT. That’s how to attract a woman.

Yeh i would definitely agree with that too. Don’t question your masculinity,compassion and caring and sensitivity don’t make you less of a man. in fact i would not want to be with a man who did not have these traits. just be yourself and yes be confident.

Posted by: joan at September 29, 2009 03:51 AM

Heh, yeah, that’s the stickler for me. The confidence part. Working on that too.

Here’s an example of what a pathetic putz I have been in the past with women.

When I was still living in an apartment back around 2001-2002 or so, my complex had a fitness center, sauna and jacuzzi. I was going to the fitness center pretty much every day for a while. During that time, I happened to build up a fitness center friendship (meaning we didn’t hang out other than when we happened to be in the fitness center at the same time) with a girl who came there MWF for her cardio. We’d have friendly chit chat which eventually over the course of the weeks moved on to talking about relationships and such. We eventually got around to going from 20 minutes of stretching to about 60 minutes of stretching, since we were sitting there talking about anything and everything. She was hot, but she was dating some older guy with a boat and I was dating someone at the time as well, so I never thought there was anything going on with us. Of course, when I told my cousin’s wife that she said that I reminded her of a combination of her boyfriend and her best girl friend, cousin’s wife smacked me upside the head and told me that was my ‘in’ with this girl. Well, we’re in the fitness center one night and she asks me if I want to go in the jacuzzi with her. I am extremely tempted, but I’m so insecure about my body (even though I was in fantastic shape at the time, just not ‘perfect’ like I was in college), that I actually told her that I didn’t want to, because I was still not secure with my physique yet and was incomfortable with taking off my shirt in public. She pleaded with me for about 10 minutes, trying to convince me that she thought I was hot, but dumbass me kept rejecting the idea.

So that’s pretty much me in a nutshell. Even when I do have a girl who is totally into me AND thinks I am hot, I find some way to mess it all up, based on my insecurities. And that’s how I reacted when I was in *fantastic* shape, you can imagine my attitude about myself now that I am 40lbs heavier and not nearly in as great of shape. So, as I said, working on the whole confidence thing.

Posted by: Michael in MI at September 29, 2009 12:28 PM

**********

Michael,

Just some advice: Ditch the “alpha”/”beta” crap. The whole theory is degrading to men and women, and really isn’t amenable to a sensitive guy such as yourself.

Posted by: moviegique at September 29, 2009 04:52 AM

Heh, don’t worry, I don’t use those terms in any other medium than on the web. I just use them here as general descriptors… kinda like saying “conservative” or “liberal” to describe one’s political leanings. Conservative doesn’t really get into detail of all my political opinions on issues, but it’s a good general description. Same thing with this whole “beta”/”alpha” crap. Those terms don’t get into the details of whom I am whatsoever, but it’s an easier general description to save me from boring everyone to death with the pros and cons of my social expertise (or lackthereof).

I agree that the terms are pretty degrading, as they lump people into general categories, instead of seeing everyone as individuals. I only used them as a general descriptor, since I thought that most people here were aware of their uses, especially since most here read HotAir and are used to AllahPundit’s obsession with the whole “beta”/”alpha” nonsense.

Posted by: Michael in MI at September 29, 2009 11:58 AM

**********

And, I think this is a nice way to end this whole thing, a poem by Kipling, posted by a sock-puppeting AoSHQ moron:

IF you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,
Or being hated, don’t give way to hating,
And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream – and not make dreams your master;
If you can think – and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build ’em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: ‘Hold on!’

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
‘ Or walk with Kings – nor lose the common touch,
if neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,
And – which is more – you’ll be a Man, my son!

Posted by: the ghost of Rudyard Kipling at September 29, 2009 05:02 AM

September 29, 2009 , 9:41PM Posted by | Life, Love, Relationships, Romance | 9 Comments

Why are They Called “Cheer Leaders” When They Don’t Actually Lead Any Cheers?

Upon reading this post by DrewM at Ace of Spades HQ and seeing yet another of the hawt “cheer leader” pictures posted with the football threads, I was inspired to write the following…

I think we need a new name for so-called cheer leaders.

I mean, do they lead any cheers during games? No. Does anyone other than the people right in the section where they are standing actually look at the “cheer leaders” during the game? No, they’re watching the actual football game. And does anyone care what the “cheer leaders” are doing or saying, or are they just getting off (figuratively of course, hopefully no one is in the stands actually getting off) on looking at hot chicks in skimpy clothing? I’d say the latter.

All the “cheer leaders” do is wear skimpy clothing showing off their bodies and dance around in a sexually provocative manner. (Not that there’s anything wrong with that, but I wouldn’t call that “cheer leading”)

In other words, they’re nothing more than exotic dancers who don’t take their clothes off. Of course, they don’t wear much to begin with, so it’s not that big of a deal.

So, I think the term “cheer leader” is outdated, since they obviously no longer lead any cheers. They are basically PG-13-rated exotic dancers.

Just look at the “cage dancers” at the new Texas Stadium. That’s all the “cheer leaders” are, except they’re on the field/sidelines.

So, any suggestions for a new name for “cheer leaders”?

Also… this goes goes for “cheer leaders” of any sport, not just the NFL.  NBA, college football, college basketball, whatever.

UPDATE 10/14/2009:  Heh, had this response to my post in the comments section over at Ace of Spades HQ.  Thought it was great:

True ’nuff, for sure — but somehow I don’t think “NFL Eye Candy Squads” would go over too well as a more accurate descriptive title. Apparently some of those women have, like, pride ‘n’ sh!t . . .

Posted by: Curly Mustard at October 14, 2009 05:32 PM

“NFL Eye Candy Squads”.  That’s a winner in my book.  Heh

September 28, 2009 , 8:45PM Posted by | NFL, Sports | Comments Off on Why are They Called “Cheer Leaders” When They Don’t Actually Lead Any Cheers?

Protest Pictures the Mass Media is Not Showing You!!!

So there was a March on Washington, D.C. on 9/12/2009.

I have come across some pictures that the mass media is not showing you from some protests. They are simply appalling, hate-filled and despicable.

These extremists are a cancer in our society.

Be sure to check out these pictures that the mass media refuses to show you, which end up exposing just how radical are protests: HALL of SHAME

Find more HERE, HERE and HERE.

Or just go HERE and see the radical extremists in all their glory.

Despicable.

September 14, 2009 , 1:27PM Posted by | Anti-War Groups, Berkeley, Bush Derangement Syndrome, CODE PINK, Communism, Fascism, Hitler, Leftist Groups, Liberalism, Marxism, Socialism | Comments Off on Protest Pictures the Mass Media is Not Showing You!!!

Remember

Never Forget…

They will remember you. Will you remember them?

Take the time to watch this:  The Falling Man

September 11, 2009 , 1:27AM Posted by | 9/11, Patriotism | Comments Off on Remember

Lions Coach Jim Schwartz Demanding Players Show Respect for the Country

I’m a die-hard Chicago Bears fan, but I have nothing but respect for any athlete or coach who understands what it means to respect the country and show that respect properly. Major kudos to Detroit Lions’ new head coach Jim Schwartz: Jim Schwartz building from the ground up

Doing it my way

And more, as his new team has discovered the past nine months. Schwartz, a 43-year-old son of a Baltimore policeman, quotes freely from Shakespeare and “Pulp Fiction.” He’s an avid chess player who listens to Judas Priest. But this is no cult of personality: Schwartz’s full-team address in March at the start of offseason workouts was the first sign changes would be wholesale.

“He had a looong list,” running back Kevin Smith said. “He laid down the law. He’s very clear on how he wants this program to be run.”

That even includes the pregame national anthem, as fans will soon notice at Ford Field. It’s not by accident the players are lining up shoulder-to-shoulder on the white sideline boundary. The Monday after the first exhibition, that performance was reviewed right along with the actual game.

“He actually filmed it,” said cornerback Eric King, a free-agent acquisition who followed Schwartz to Detroit from Tennessee. “And it’s a pretty serious thing to him, as far as the respect that he wants the team to have for the country and just to be united as a team.

“He showed us how it should be and everybody took note. Helmets in your right hand or on the bench. Hand across your chest or arms straight. Just little things like that. It’s all about becoming a winning organization, and that’s how you do it: You take care of the little things.”

September 10, 2009 , 10:40AM Posted by | NFL, Patriotism | Comments Off on Lions Coach Jim Schwartz Demanding Players Show Respect for the Country