AmeriCAN-DO Attitude

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Vampires are Not Emo High School Kids

Heh, great comment left here ripping on the Twilight series:

Vampires are not emo high school kids. Vampires are not angsty romance-novel cover models in poufy shirts. Vampires are not hunky guys who just happen to nibble your neck now and then.

Let me be clear: Vampires are walking corpses who feed on the living. When you watch Night of the Living Dead or any other “zombie” movie, you’re really watching vampires. Those dudes are vampires but we call them zombies because George Romero is a fucking illiterate.

Now and then you get a super-genius vampire who studied sorcery at the Devil’s school in Transylvania (it’s like Hogwarts, except that one out of every ten students gets dragged off to Hell instead of graduating — so long, Ron!) and by sheer superhuman force of will has retained his intelligence and cunning even in death. That’s how you get Dracula. He’s scary because he’s a shambling undead bloodsucker who isn’t a mindless killing machine. Oh, and Dracula didn’t spend his time wearing a God-damned white tie and tails. He dressed in regular clothes because he wanted to blend in, not look like some drunk in a vampire costume.

The whole idea of a “good” or sympathetic vampire is asinine. It’s like writing fiction about a nice SS officer or a sympathetic psychopath. If vampires were good, they’d go ahead and fucking die already, because their very existence is a sin against God and nature. They are cursed walking corpses who fucking kill people. That’s why we call them monsters.

If I ever meet Stephanie Meyers or Anne Rice I’m going to lock them in a room with a hunger-crazed animated corpse and see how long they think the blasphemous monstrosity is sexy.

Posted by: Trimegistus at February 08, 2010 10:04 PM

February 8, 2010 , 10:19PM Posted by | Hollywood, Movies | Comments Off on Vampires are Not Emo High School Kids

Snickers Candy Promotes Violence Against Women

Or maybe just against senior citizen women. That’s my conclusion based on the logic of the whiney feminists at the Women’s Media Center:

The Women’s Media Center, which had objected to Focus on the Family advertising in the Super Bowl, said it was expecting a “benign” ad but not the humor. But the group’s president, Jehmu Greene, said the tackle showed an undercurrent of violence against women.

“I think they’re attempting to use humor as another tactic of hiding their message and fooling the American people,” she said.

Hmmm, really? Well I guess this means that Snickers — or Mars, Incorporated, which owns Snickers — is “hiding their message [of violence against women] and fooling the American people” with their Super Bowl ad?

So, are the whiney feminists going to come out to complain about “the undercurrent of violence against women” at Mars, Incorporated?

“Snickers really satisfies… an undercurrent of violence against women!”

I won’t be holding my breath on that.

Oh shocker. Noted feminazi Amanda Marcotte also has her panties in a twist over the Tim Tebow ad.

Tebow: Hey Mom! Tried to kill you from the womb and failed. How about a blind side tackle? Violence against Moms FTW! (via @MarcFaletti)
about 19 hours ago from Tweetie in reply to MarcFaletti

Interesting that she hasn’t posted a ‘tweet’ making fun of Snickers, though, huh? I guess violence against women is good so long as the men kill babies, eat chocolate or are named Bill Clinton?

I guess I now know what to give for Valentine’s Day if I ever date a feminist: a pack of Snickers, a gift card to Planned Parenthood and slap across the face.

It really is interesting how feminazis come up with their own definitions for things.  If a woman wants her baby, it’s a baby.  If a woman doesn’t want her baby, it’s a fetus.  If a woman chooses to get an abortion, it’s a woman’s choice.  If a woman chooses to have a baby, it’s anti-abortion.  If a male politician is pro-abortion, his misogyny and abuse of women is praised.  If a male politician is pro-life, he’s automatically anti-woman.

I have a feeling that Melvin Udall’s definition of a woman in As Good as it Gets was actually talking about feminazis:

Receptionist: How do you write women so well?
Melvin Udall: I think of a man, and I take away reason and accountability.

February 8, 2010 , 11:08AM Posted by | Feminism, Liberalism, NFL | Comments Off on Snickers Candy Promotes Violence Against Women